It has begun.

After lulling me into a false sense of security, my chief warden has made clear her intentions towards me.

As I waddled along, exploring the plush carpeted floor of my warden's spacious quarters, I felt a sharp tug at my hip.

I discovered, to my horror, that the chief warden had removed a lock of my fur, into which I had carefully woven in some decorative strands of toilet paper and wood shavings.

Obviously, this is just the first of many biomedical experiments that will be performed on me.