Confession

The time has come for me to make a confession.

For you see...

I am no ordinary world-conquering hamster from space.

I am, in fact, a genetically enhanced hamster from the Marvelous 'N' Terrible Illuminati Corporation (MANTI Corp. for short), containing transgenic DNA from capybaras and the elusive Arcturan Sabre-toothed Guinea Pig. This explains my superior size and strength, as compared to other hamsters.

In other news, Panalog Cortisone Cream tastes like cherry cola. Mmmmm....