It's good to be king.

A young being of remarkable perspicacity has brought me a virtual cornucopia of gifts. They consist of:

• Gourmet yogurt-covered blueberries
• Crunchy cheese-puff-esque low-fat snacks with fruit flavour
• Crispy wafers of varying sizes and flavours
• Those sesame-seed covered things you can get at dimsums
• Some kind of crunchy crispy trail-mix briquette.

I must hide these before my captor succumbs to her lust for crunchy junkfood and devours it all.