An Explanation for my absence.

[whiskas]

For weeks, I suffered in silence.

My affliction made it impossible for me to leave the house. No more could I enjoy the fresh air, the warm sunshine, the pleasant exhiliration of world conquest.

Yes, dear friends, like yourself, I was once...

Bald.

But now, hairless rodents of the world can walk proudly in the sweet fresh air, feeling golden sunlight on their shoulders and the bodies of their enemies trod under their paws! Follicle-challenged creatures can say farewell to awkward hair-pieces, toupees and fur-extensions!

You, too, can join the Hair Club for Hamsters!

Just hear the testimony from our satisfied customers!

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Name: Speak
Species: Capybara
Age: 6 years

I was the ugliest creature in the jungle until I discovered the Hair Club for Hamsters! Now, I have to fend off my fans with a steel baseball bat!

(Lacking opposable thumbs, I can't hold the bat myself. I just sort of nudge it at my fans with my nose and they get the picture.)

I even have my own fansites now! Thank you, Hair Club for Hamsters!

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Name: Buster
Species: Guinea Pig
Age: 2 years

I was once quite bald
Hairlessness is tragedy
Now I am all smiles

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Name: Krankorr
Species: Naked Mole Rat
Age: 2 months

Thanks to the Hair Club for Hamsters, I have been able to successfully infiltrate a litter of American rats in order to secure greater glory for my Queen. All hail the Queen and her brood!

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And remember folks, not only am I Wicked High Intelligence and Supreme Konqueror of All Surveyed (Including the Hair Club For Hamsters)...

I'm also a member.

Comments

[marz]

Is this a limited time offer? How many payments of $19.99 do I have to make?

*snicker*