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My captors appear to have an unhealthy fascination with collecting useless objects. Rather than collecting something reasonable, such as sunflower seeds or toilet paper rolls, they prefer to line their nesting areas with plastic materials and shiny discs.
These creatures are not entirely without culture, however, for I was able to decode one of their texts. Literary analysis suggests that this is, in fact, a famous hamster love sonnet translated into the language of these bipedal creatures.
She can't tell me that all of the love songs have been written,
'cause she's never been in love with you before.
A statement evocative of the feelings of isolation and discovery associated with falling in love, as well as an obvious reference to the extensive collections of lyric poetry extant in rodent literature. Indeed, the epic song cycle To All The Girls I Ever Loved: Ode to Applesauce, Bana, Candy, Delphinium, Eartha, Fluffy, Giggles, Hana... is considered by many to be the definitive collection of hamster love poetry. However, for reasons that will soon become apparent, none of these songs reflect the speaker's true passions.
Your skin smells lovely like sandalwood
Your hair falls soft like animals,
I'm tryin' to keep cool, but everyone likes you.
Here, we get our first indication that this is no normal love song. For what rodent would smell of sandalwood? Why would a hamster compare another hamster's fur to "animals"?
I want to kiss the back of your neck,
the top of your spine where your hair hits,
and gnaw on your fingertips and fall asleep,
I'll talk you to sleep.
6 out of 10 female hamsters interviewed in a planet-wide survey listed "nuzzling or biting the back of the neck" as their most common expression of affection. Meanwhile, "sleeping" and "gnawing on fingertips" have been traditional past-times for hamsters of both genders.
The key here is the use of the word "fingertips". Regrettably, hamsters do not have well-developed forepaws, and lack what might be called "fingers". Although hamster evolution has compensated for this by endowing the majority of hamsters with the power of telekinesis, "fingertips" have remained the domain of apes and other lesser creatures.
At this point in the song, it becomes evident that the speaker is not addressing a fellow hamster as "you". Instead, "you" appears to be an ape of uncertain species, possibly a human. Although the context of the song is unclear, it may be an expression of forbidden passions towards a captor or warden.
But I'll be the one, I will have chosen.
I'm tryin' to keep cool, but everyone here likes you
I'm not the only one.
The warden theory solidifies, as the speaker emphasizes her desire to choose, rather than be chosen. It is evident that there are others who would compete for the affections of the ape-like being, yet the speaker perseveres.
Your skin smells lovely like sandalwood.
Your hair falls soft like animals,
and nothing else matters to me.
The speaker describes her passions in sensual terms, focussing on the physical connection rather than the emotional. Possibly the ape-like being lacks the sensitivity or intellect for an emotionally sound relationship; possibly the speaker has been overcome by the animal magnetism of the biped, and can only focus on the scent of him, the feel of his hair.
She can't tell me that all of the love songs have been written,
'cause she's never been in love with you before.
The song comes full-circle, repeating the conundrum posed by many: if poetry represents universal experiences in personal language, why is it that there is no one single love song that relates the emotions and sensations of love as experienced by all?
Your hand,
so hot,
burns a hole in
my hand.
I wanted to show you.
The speaker ends her impassioned song with a complaint about her beloved, who apparently has warm sweaty hands. I hate it when my captor doesn't wipe her hands before picking me up.
These creatures are not entirely without culture, however, for I was able to decode one of their texts. Literary analysis suggests that this is, in fact, a famous hamster love sonnet translated into the language of these bipedal creatures.
She can't tell me that all of the love songs have been written,
'cause she's never been in love with you before.
A statement evocative of the feelings of isolation and discovery associated with falling in love, as well as an obvious reference to the extensive collections of lyric poetry extant in rodent literature. Indeed, the epic song cycle To All The Girls I Ever Loved: Ode to Applesauce, Bana, Candy, Delphinium, Eartha, Fluffy, Giggles, Hana... is considered by many to be the definitive collection of hamster love poetry. However, for reasons that will soon become apparent, none of these songs reflect the speaker's true passions.
Your skin smells lovely like sandalwood
Your hair falls soft like animals,
I'm tryin' to keep cool, but everyone likes you.
Here, we get our first indication that this is no normal love song. For what rodent would smell of sandalwood? Why would a hamster compare another hamster's fur to "animals"?
I want to kiss the back of your neck,
the top of your spine where your hair hits,
and gnaw on your fingertips and fall asleep,
I'll talk you to sleep.
6 out of 10 female hamsters interviewed in a planet-wide survey listed "nuzzling or biting the back of the neck" as their most common expression of affection. Meanwhile, "sleeping" and "gnawing on fingertips" have been traditional past-times for hamsters of both genders.
The key here is the use of the word "fingertips". Regrettably, hamsters do not have well-developed forepaws, and lack what might be called "fingers". Although hamster evolution has compensated for this by endowing the majority of hamsters with the power of telekinesis, "fingertips" have remained the domain of apes and other lesser creatures.
At this point in the song, it becomes evident that the speaker is not addressing a fellow hamster as "you". Instead, "you" appears to be an ape of uncertain species, possibly a human. Although the context of the song is unclear, it may be an expression of forbidden passions towards a captor or warden.
But I'll be the one, I will have chosen.
I'm tryin' to keep cool, but everyone here likes you
I'm not the only one.
The warden theory solidifies, as the speaker emphasizes her desire to choose, rather than be chosen. It is evident that there are others who would compete for the affections of the ape-like being, yet the speaker perseveres.
Your skin smells lovely like sandalwood.
Your hair falls soft like animals,
and nothing else matters to me.
The speaker describes her passions in sensual terms, focussing on the physical connection rather than the emotional. Possibly the ape-like being lacks the sensitivity or intellect for an emotionally sound relationship; possibly the speaker has been overcome by the animal magnetism of the biped, and can only focus on the scent of him, the feel of his hair.
She can't tell me that all of the love songs have been written,
'cause she's never been in love with you before.
The song comes full-circle, repeating the conundrum posed by many: if poetry represents universal experiences in personal language, why is it that there is no one single love song that relates the emotions and sensations of love as experienced by all?
Your hand,
so hot,
burns a hole in
my hand.
I wanted to show you.
The speaker ends her impassioned song with a complaint about her beloved, who apparently has warm sweaty hands. I hate it when my captor doesn't wipe her hands before picking me up.
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